hello world: meet bonnie.

I know what you're thinking right now.   "Guest post today?  Well, shoot. Alright, toots, you've got exactly seven seconds to impress me before I click out of this site and don't give you the time of day ever again." The pressure is intense, I tell you, it's intense! Deep breath.  And here I go. First things first.  My name is Bonnie.  This is me.

I used to have pink hair before I got a real job.  Now I have a real job.  But I don't have pink hair.  You can't have it all, people. I've been given a lot of nicknames over the course of my life, but the one I prefer is Bon Bon.  So if you feel in the nickname-best-bud kind of mood, you can call me Bon.  Or if you feel in a normal mood, you can call me Bonnie.  Whatevs.  The nickname you can not call me is Bonnarrhea.  I do not like that name. I write over at Life of Bon.  If it weren't for blogging I would have long been driven to insanity by now.  That's because I spend my days in the company of punk seventeen year olds.  Mostly I try to teach them how to write thesis statements and how to tell the difference between your and you're.  It's a lot harder than you'd think to get that rule to stick, I tell you.  Even though those high schoolers can be a bunch of bratty ingrates they have somehow completely stolen my heart. Ain't that always the way it is with bratty ingrates?!?! I'm not exactly sure why I love these teenagers so much. I think it might have to do with the ridiculous things that are always flying out of their mouths at 100 miles an hour.  Because I love Erin and I love her blog I figured I must love her readers by default.  And because I do nice things for the people I love, I have decided to include for your reading entertainment some of my favorite "stupid questions" that my students ask me. Student: "Mrs. Larsen? What do we do if we can't find what page we're on?" Me: "Uh... find the page you're on..." Student, six months after school has been in session: "What time does school get out?" Me: "Five o'clock." Student: "Did we do anything in class yesterday?" Me: "Nope. We all just sat here and stared at each other." Student: "When you were in high school were computers invented yet?" Me: "I went to high school seven years ago." Student: "So were they invented yet?" Me: "No, not yet. The world was a very primitive place seven years ago. I had to use a type writer for all my assignments. Cars weren't invented either so I had to walk to school. In the snow. Uphill. Barefoot. Because shoes also were not yet invented." Ah, don't those little cuties just say the darndest things?! When I'm not trying to cram grammar into the heads of hormonal teenagers, I try my best at being a wife- a gig that is new to me this past year.  I guess you could say I've got a small crush on this guy.

Ahem... the one without all the hair... If you're wondering why my hubby has got a giant teddy bear on his shoulders, it was an experiment to see if we are ready to have babies.  We are not. If you're wondering why the walls are lime green in our apartment, it's because I made a terrible, terrible mistake.  It's fixed now. And because I just couldn't resist, I recently got a new haircut and have therefore spent a lot of time lately flipping my hair around.  I mean, what else do you do when you get a new haircut besides flip?!?

I figure by now my seven seconds to impress you is long gone.  Also, the ice cream in the freezer is calling my name.  So I guess this is adieu.  Unless, of course, you hop on over to Life of Bon and say hi, which I strongly encourage you do.  I promise you won't regret it, and if you do Elease has promised you a box of French chocolates.  You can't argue with that now, can you?! Come on, Elease, just go with it....  You know your cupboards are filled with French chocolates...