the 3 month jitters.

{photo taken by: this lovely lady, kirsten wiemer}

we are exactly three months 

out from our due date. 

can i get a "hurrah and yikes!" all at the same time?

we are so ready for our little one to be here;

as in snuggled up in our arms; spoiling us with love and warmth.

but are we ready for our little one to be here?

the brutal answer is no. 

 i feel as though we have not a clue what to except.

not to mention our nursery is still so empty.

am i procrastinating? not in the slightest.

am i clueless? in just about every aspect.

am i scared? i wouldn't call it scared.

am i ready to be a mother? beyond ready.

it's interesting that something can be so familiar, yet so foreign.

i think of all the babies i've ever held, cuddled or babysat-

yet, i seem to feel as though i'm left clueless.

sure, i know how to change a diaper and give a bottle.

but, do i know which diapers to buy or what bottles work best? no.

lovebird is often getting mad at my anxious and nervous mind;

i'm thankful to have him as a reminder that things always seem to work out.

i have to keep telling myself, this is something 

i will never be prepared or ready for.

but more importantly, no one is ever ready or prepared. 

why? because having your first baby is something so new.

it's a first.  

so, it boils down to this...

we are eagerly counting down these last three months,

because ready or not... here baby comes!

and the underlying truth is... we are are beside ourselves with excitement. 

nameless.

naming your child is a hard task, i tell you.

so hard, i sometimes think our babe might be

 nameless for a month after it enters this world.

{i am too embarrassed to even tell you how long it took us to name our dog.}

there is so much behind a name.

the sound of it, the meaning behind it, how popular it is,

where it comes from, the spelling, using a family name, the initials....

does it sound good with your last name?,

are all nicknames "good" nicknames?

is the name unique enough.... or too unique?

will every future classmate share the same name?

you get the idea....

some say, why care? name your child what you want.

other's check the popularity charts daily before naming their babe.

some only stick with family names,

while others go to the extreme of coming up with the most unique name possible.

i'm not so sure what category lovebird and i fall into yet.

we are so undecided. 

of course, we have some favorite names floating around in our heads-

but- i'm the world's most indecisive person.

i keep blaming my indecisiveness on finding a name i love, 

on the fact that we aren't finding out the gender of our babe.

but let's be honest, that's just an excuse. 

help me, people.

i'm beginning to lose sleep over finding a name.

why? because in all seriousness, i believe a name is so important.

it's the first thing one says when introducing themselves.

 a name gives a first impression.

a name says so much without saying anything at all.

your name is your name... for the rest of your life;

it's what people know you by and what they remember you by. 

so... as of now, our future babe is nameless.

please, oh please send me naming tips, naming powers,
the ability to be decisive and any baby names you just love!
maybe then, our baby will have a name by the time he/she arrives!

we've got a wiggler.

i feel as though this little blog of mine 

has suddenly taken a turn....

a baby turn.

i realize that half my posts are centered around "baby talk".

i apologize for that.

but, then again i don't- because "baby talk" has suddenly become my life.

yesterday, lovebird and i raced down to the hospital in the morning

for our first ever ultrasound.

words can't describe how incredible it was to see our little

one moving around on that screen.

and let me tell you, our babe is a definite wiggler.

the ultrasound tech said she hadn't seen one quite this active.

our babe was doing yoga, backflips and all sorts of things in there.

she even printed out a picture to prove it- our babe was in a yoga pose.

athlete or dancer in the making? i think so.

having an ultrasound suddenly made everything seem so real.

yes, i've certainly noticed my belly growing-

but, seeing the little one confirmed that there is actually a body inside.

'something' so real, growing every day.

it's miraculous. it literally was breathtaking to see our babe.

it was heart melting as i watched lovebird watch the screen;

his eyes filled with complete joy and astonishment.

i don't know if watching babe or lovebird was more precious.

needless to say, i'm one very happy wife and {future} mother. 

xoxo

hello, are you still there? I'm back!

{our lovely photographer samantha kelly. check her out!}

well, hello.

it has been quite awhile, wouldn't you say?

so, so, so much has happened while i've been away.

big things and little things.

since my last post, here are the "top 10" since then.

1. i'm retired! i decided after much thought that it was time

to move on from the wonderful world of ballet.

it was the best chapter of my life. i will always be a ballerina at heart.

2. we made a quick move and lived in utah for a few months 

this summer while lovebird enjoyed a wonderful internship.

3. i chopped my hair. 

it's new, a change and something i have always wanted to do.

{not having to put my hair in a bun every day anymore, gave me the green light!}

4. baby stice will be joining us january 2014.

we couldn't be more excited.

5. this summer i did a bit of "local" traveling;

portland, island park, hawaii and west yellowstone.

it was a fun summer.

6. this summer, we lived with my parents.

it was a complete joy- family is one of my most important gems in life. 

7. we are back in california preparing for baby and lovebird's graduation.

california feels like home to me. we are oh-so-happy here.

8. mowgli turned one this month!

{happy birthday to our favorite pup}

we are kind of in shock that we have already had him for a whole year.

time needs to s l o w down.

9. our favorite things from summer:

fly fishing, frozen yogurt, camping in kauia, pickles,

hanging with old/best friends, salt lake restaurants, finding out about baby stice,

home cooked meals and the beauty of utah.

10. lovebird and i celebrated our 3rd year anniversary this summer.

time flies when you are in love-

and boy, am i in love. 

it's so good to be back.

i'll be here to stay for awhile.

happy holiday weekend.

xoxo