three little pumpkins sitting in a row.

happy halloween

this is arguably one of my favorite holidays. 

i love everything about it.

from pumpkin flavored anything/everything, to dressing up,

to trick-or-treating, to candy galore, to spooky decorations,

to the perfect fall weather, to haunted houses, to cuddling indoors.

the list goes, on and on.

{lovebird insisted on a baby, mama & papa pumpkin this year.}

currently:

i couldn't stray from tradition, so i've got a pot of chili in the crockpot.

i tried a new recipe this year, due to lovebird's health kick at the moment. 

with a few tweaks, of course.

also, a big pan of cornbread waiting to be plopped in the oven.

the house smells divine.

baby's been dancing around all day- 

i think he/she can smell the goodness too.

and quite possibly since my deep love for this holiday.

thank goodness my mother raised me loving halloween.

she is halloween's number one fan.

she taught me well.

oh, and thanks to her hand-me-downs, my house is decked out.

it saddens me to hear of people who hate halloween...

how dare they!?!

so, i too, hope you'll be enjoying a bowl of chili and
a slice of cornbread this evening.

tonight is halloween; and i couldn't be happier.

have a spooky night. 

the 3 month jitters.

{photo taken by: this lovely lady, kirsten wiemer}

we are exactly three months 

out from our due date. 

can i get a "hurrah and yikes!" all at the same time?

we are so ready for our little one to be here;

as in snuggled up in our arms; spoiling us with love and warmth.

but are we ready for our little one to be here?

the brutal answer is no. 

 i feel as though we have not a clue what to except.

not to mention our nursery is still so empty.

am i procrastinating? not in the slightest.

am i clueless? in just about every aspect.

am i scared? i wouldn't call it scared.

am i ready to be a mother? beyond ready.

it's interesting that something can be so familiar, yet so foreign.

i think of all the babies i've ever held, cuddled or babysat-

yet, i seem to feel as though i'm left clueless.

sure, i know how to change a diaper and give a bottle.

but, do i know which diapers to buy or what bottles work best? no.

lovebird is often getting mad at my anxious and nervous mind;

i'm thankful to have him as a reminder that things always seem to work out.

i have to keep telling myself, this is something 

i will never be prepared or ready for.

but more importantly, no one is ever ready or prepared. 

why? because having your first baby is something so new.

it's a first.  

so, it boils down to this...

we are eagerly counting down these last three months,

because ready or not... here baby comes!

and the underlying truth is... we are are beside ourselves with excitement. 

nameless.

naming your child is a hard task, i tell you.

so hard, i sometimes think our babe might be

 nameless for a month after it enters this world.

{i am too embarrassed to even tell you how long it took us to name our dog.}

there is so much behind a name.

the sound of it, the meaning behind it, how popular it is,

where it comes from, the spelling, using a family name, the initials....

does it sound good with your last name?,

are all nicknames "good" nicknames?

is the name unique enough.... or too unique?

will every future classmate share the same name?

you get the idea....

some say, why care? name your child what you want.

other's check the popularity charts daily before naming their babe.

some only stick with family names,

while others go to the extreme of coming up with the most unique name possible.

i'm not so sure what category lovebird and i fall into yet.

we are so undecided. 

of course, we have some favorite names floating around in our heads-

but- i'm the world's most indecisive person.

i keep blaming my indecisiveness on finding a name i love, 

on the fact that we aren't finding out the gender of our babe.

but let's be honest, that's just an excuse. 

help me, people.

i'm beginning to lose sleep over finding a name.

why? because in all seriousness, i believe a name is so important.

it's the first thing one says when introducing themselves.

 a name gives a first impression.

a name says so much without saying anything at all.

your name is your name... for the rest of your life;

it's what people know you by and what they remember you by. 

so... as of now, our future babe is nameless.

please, oh please send me naming tips, naming powers,
the ability to be decisive and any baby names you just love!
maybe then, our baby will have a name by the time he/she arrives!

oh, hey.

oh, hey.
yes, it is me again.
this whole disappearing from the blog scene is easier than i thought.
i blame my busy life, busy mind and endless tiredness.

it's october.
one of my favorite months.
it's full of weather changes, crunchy leaves, conference, crockpot meals,
pumpkin chocolate chip cookies,
the last four weeks of my second trimester,
snack size candy bars, crisp air and the best time of year for fashion.

life is good.
life is oh-so-good over here.
sometimes i fear that if i blink, i'll wake up from a dream.
but, daily, i pinch myself and remind myself that this life is real:
this beauty around me is a gift.
my husband is my biggest blessing.
this baby bump {little one swimming around} ties for first.
family is the core to having a life rich of love, support and purpose.
the gospel is divine.
daily breathe and health are also a true gift, never to be taken for granted.
love is the root of all happiness.

october is a month for realizing just how blessed i am. 
whether that be by indulging into a batch up pumpkin chocolate chippers,
or indulging in this life that is sometimes too good to be true.

happy october.

assessment of life lately.

reading: blackmoore. {this month's book club book.} i just started it and am anxious to get going on it. has any one out there read it... thoughts on it?

feeling: sore. i worked out for the first time since being pregnant. yes, i've been hiking, walking my dog all summer and such... but, i'm talking worked out with weights, resistance band, etc. my muscles hate me right now.

wanting:to know the gender of this baby, oh so bad. but, the surprise will be worth it. 

craving: cinnamon raison bagels, krispy kreme donuts and muffins. common theme? carbs. 

waiting: for so many things. mainly baby to come and my little brother to be home from his mission. both will happen within the next five months. yahoo!

loving: that fall {finally} decided to show up yesterday. this thrills my heart.  

wearing: anything i can fit into nowadays. fashion has taken a back seat in my life. 

wishing: every day consisted of fall weather, cups of hot chocolate, blankets and a good book.

cooking: more than ever right now. {the joy of not having rehearsal until 9:00 every night.} the crockpot and i have become best friends recently.

wondering: how time is passing by so quickly. it's already the end of september. where did this month go? where do summer go? where did my first trimester go? boom- they are all gone, so fast.

needing: warm baths to help me fall asleep at night.

anticipating: the holidays more than ever this year. i can't believe they are just around the corner.

hearing: so much advice on baby's and pregnancy. but, i like it because i need it.

i've seen this idea done on a couple blogs recently- and i loved the idea.

some people's lists are lengthy and some or brief.

here's my version.

i want to see yours. leave a link below, so i can enjoy your list.

xoxo

we've got a wiggler.

i feel as though this little blog of mine 

has suddenly taken a turn....

a baby turn.

i realize that half my posts are centered around "baby talk".

i apologize for that.

but, then again i don't- because "baby talk" has suddenly become my life.

yesterday, lovebird and i raced down to the hospital in the morning

for our first ever ultrasound.

words can't describe how incredible it was to see our little

one moving around on that screen.

and let me tell you, our babe is a definite wiggler.

the ultrasound tech said she hadn't seen one quite this active.

our babe was doing yoga, backflips and all sorts of things in there.

she even printed out a picture to prove it- our babe was in a yoga pose.

athlete or dancer in the making? i think so.

having an ultrasound suddenly made everything seem so real.

yes, i've certainly noticed my belly growing-

but, seeing the little one confirmed that there is actually a body inside.

'something' so real, growing every day.

it's miraculous. it literally was breathtaking to see our babe.

it was heart melting as i watched lovebird watch the screen;

his eyes filled with complete joy and astonishment.

i don't know if watching babe or lovebird was more precious.

needless to say, i'm one very happy wife and {future} mother. 

xoxo

little notes

{a little celebration drink. half way there!}

dear home: would you just please clean yourself already? why oh why, can i not find the motivation to do so? i'm trying to make you sparkle, but i often find the couch and a nap far too inviting.

dear baby: lovebird and i "saw" you for the first time yesterday. you were tiny, black and white and on a computer screen... but you still gave my heart reason to explode of happiness. i am already anticipating the "real" ultrasound on monday.

dear mornings: you are still, and will always be my favorite time of the day. i cherish every second of you. your mellow light that trickles in acting as a wake up call, your silence that only appears at this time of day and your way of making life's challenges seem possible... is more than i could ask for each day.

dear bran muffins: i've already made two batches of you this week. maybe i should control my cravings.... or maybe you shouldn't be so tempting.

dear 20 weeks: i can't believe i'm half way there already. baby will be here before we know it. how did i celebrate the half way mark? ... with a big class of chocolate milk, of course.

dear scandal: lovebird and i are suddenly obsessed with you. we could watch episode after episode; you are intriguing and addicting. pair you with a bag of popcorn and i could sit and watch all day long.

dear mascara: why can't i seem to find the perfect one? you know, the one i religiously use day after day. i swear, i am always on the hunt for that 'perfect' one. {please tell me someone out there has found one they can't live without... i'd love to know your secret!}

dear fall: you are easily my favorite time of year. you are beginning to make an appearance. i am patiently awaiting for you to arrive so i don't have to come up with an excuse to indulge in everything pumpkin.

adjusting.

friday is here at last.
it's been a long week. i repeat, a long one.
i think i'm still adjusting to lovebird's new school schedule
{aka: him being gone quite a bit}
and to this baby bump that seems to be growing rather quickly.

being pregnant is a beautiful thing.
emotions are extreme.
stares, comments, looks and questions from strangers are unexpected.
i like it, though.
baby shopping is out of this world.
i thought i had a shopping addiction when it came to my clothes;
i'm telling you right now, this baby of ours will be a spoiled one.
cravings are realer than real.
{cheeseburgers, pancakes, fruit and bran muffins are the recent ones.}
change takes on a new dimension;
both physically and mentally.
anticipation is at a peak, which makes for an exciting life.
adjusting is a key word lately;
adjusting to a new life style, a changing body, a new schedule,
a new 'profession', a new chapter and the list goes on....

most of all, i'm so thankful to have lovebird to share it all with.
even if he is gone rather often for school.
both baby and i are cheering him on; graduation is oh so close.
we are happy over here that it is friday, the weekend is upon us
and that we get to spend it in our very own home.

have a happy friday.
xoxo

greetings in september.

{source}

goodbye. hello. 

goodbye to a lovely summer in utah. hello to our home in california.

goodbye to just us two. hello the little one in my belly.

goodbye to popsicles and bbq's. hello to soups and crockpot dinners.

goodbye to bright corals, blues and neons. hello to all fall colors;

 dark green, purple and cobalt.

goodbye to hours of ballet rehearsals. hello to hours of being a wife. (yahoo!)

goodbye to the sick phase of pregnancy. hello to prayers it never returns.

goodbye to our wonderful "babymoon" in kauai. hello to reality; school and work.

goodbye to a strong ballet core. hello to a baby bump.

goodbye to all things summer. hello to all things fall.

goodbye to wearing white. hello to the "labor day rule" of fashion.

goodbye to utah's beauty of mountains and streams. 

hello to california's palm trees and heat.

goodbye to fabulous home cooked meals by parents. hello to having to cook. ;)

goodbye to days by the pool. hello to days in the books.

goodbye to needing a change. hello to bobby brown makeup. 

goodbye to the inch build up of dust while we were gone. hello to cleaning days.

goodbye to the much beloved season of summer. 

hello to the much anticipated season of fall. {aka: my favorite}

goodbye dry skin. hello to this product that works wonders. 

goodbye to so much going on. hello to being a homebody. 

goodbye. hello.

it's been awhile since i've done a "goodbye-hello" post-

it feels so great to be back in the groove of things.

the blogging world, is a happy one-

wouldn't you say?

cheers to a three day weekend, holiday's and 

father in law's being in town!

xoxo

hello, are you still there? I'm back!

{our lovely photographer samantha kelly. check her out!}

well, hello.

it has been quite awhile, wouldn't you say?

so, so, so much has happened while i've been away.

big things and little things.

since my last post, here are the "top 10" since then.

1. i'm retired! i decided after much thought that it was time

to move on from the wonderful world of ballet.

it was the best chapter of my life. i will always be a ballerina at heart.

2. we made a quick move and lived in utah for a few months 

this summer while lovebird enjoyed a wonderful internship.

3. i chopped my hair. 

it's new, a change and something i have always wanted to do.

{not having to put my hair in a bun every day anymore, gave me the green light!}

4. baby stice will be joining us january 2014.

we couldn't be more excited.

5. this summer i did a bit of "local" traveling;

portland, island park, hawaii and west yellowstone.

it was a fun summer.

6. this summer, we lived with my parents.

it was a complete joy- family is one of my most important gems in life. 

7. we are back in california preparing for baby and lovebird's graduation.

california feels like home to me. we are oh-so-happy here.

8. mowgli turned one this month!

{happy birthday to our favorite pup}

we are kind of in shock that we have already had him for a whole year.

time needs to s l o w down.

9. our favorite things from summer:

fly fishing, frozen yogurt, camping in kauia, pickles,

hanging with old/best friends, salt lake restaurants, finding out about baby stice,

home cooked meals and the beauty of utah.

10. lovebird and i celebrated our 3rd year anniversary this summer.

time flies when you are in love-

and boy, am i in love. 

it's so good to be back.

i'll be here to stay for awhile.

happy holiday weekend.

xoxo

springtime sickness

spring has brought me such a nice surprise,

popcorn popping right before my eyes...

and it also managed to bring me a

big fat cold. 

yep, i'm stuck in bed. 

sniffling, sneezing and sleeping. 

i think getting sick in spring and summer months should be off limits. 

sickness is for cold months;

months that involve sweaters, soups and scarfs.

so, as lovebird takes his last two finals today-

i patiently wait for him to come home, 

so he can snuggle this cold right out of me.

i have a busy week ahead, not to mention important one too.

i need this sickness to disappear a-sap.

any suggestions, tips or home remedies? 

meanwhile, i'll witness spring bloom from my bedroom window.

i suppose, that is the one perk of being sick in the nice weather-

life outside, is exciting to observe. 

happy spring to you.

i hope you are out and about enjoying this nice warm weather for me.

i hope to join you really soon. 

xoxo

we're busy over here.

jam-packed into the next two weeks:
- rehearsals and a performance! i can't believe it's the end of the season already.
- packing.... yeah, i should probably get started.
- lovebird's birthday to celebrate. yahoo.
- cramming in as much hang out time as we can, with our dear friends.
- saying goodbyes, more like "cya laters",  to my piano students for the summer.
- clean, clean, clean. my little home is begging for it.
- spend a few days by our pool before we go brave the cold weather that still exists in utah.
- one last day trip to san francisco, just to get my fix before i leave for three months.
- possibly a pedicure. after a long season of hours in pointe shoes- i think i'm due for one.
- a quick trip to L.A. who doesn't want to visit best friends and disneyland? no brainer.
- many afternoons (if i dare brave the heat) at the dog park. mowgli's got to say goodbye to his friends too, i suppose.
- car washes and a big stock up on treats. what's a road trip without clean cars and treats galore?
- simply moments in our little home. before we leave it all behind for awhile.

i can't believe the beginning of may is just around the corner already.
slow down life. you are passing all too quickly. 
this time of year is always a busy time. but, i like it that way.
we are anxious to go home for the summer. yet, slightly sad to say goodbye to life here. 
regardless, salt lake city... here we come!

anything fun on your agenda for the end of april?
let's hear it. i'm hoping it's more excited than our to do list before we head out.

trust your gut.

this my friends, is the motto of my life lately.

you have know idea.

trusting your gut is sometimes the hardest thing to do.

{because often times your gut feeling is the polar opposite of what you expect}

but, i am a firm believer to never ignore gut feelings.

they usually are spot on.

life has been a little crazy lately, to say the least.

big decisions are being made over here, for both of us.

trusting your gut 

is a simple saying with so much truth and knowledge behind it.

as hard has it has been to trust my gut instincts-

i'm taking a huge leap of faith. 

i'm a preacher of following your gut- 

it's important to listen to your inner instincts.

after all, your own self knows you better than anyone else does.

happy friday! 

i hope you have a lovely weekend.

go ahead, trust your gut- 

even if it tells you to treat yourself to an extra piece of cake this weekend.

i assure you- your gut is right. you deserve it.

it's been a long week, right?

xoxo

little facts.

{picture from our temple trip to oakland last friday. gorgeous, right?}

10 little facts of life, as of lately:
1. conference weekend is always blissful, uplifting and motivational. i feel rejuvenated. ironically, conference weekend always seems to arrive at the time in life when i need it most.
2. nothing makes me happier than a bouquet of fresh flowers.
3. life takes a lot of faith. especially, when facing the "unknown".
4. emails from missionary brothers are heart warming. not to mention, so inspirational. i'm lucky to have such a stud for a brother. i'm certainly counting down the last 10 months.
5. i find rearranging my house to be completely therapeutic. i love how old things become new. I seem to be craving change all of a sudden.
6. rainstorms easily take a place on "my favorite things" list.
7. i have laughed more in the last few days with lovebird, than in my entire life.
8. three things you'll never find me without: my wedding ring, lipstick and a bottle of tums.
9. we are moving home for the summer.... salt lake here we come! {insert: yahoo!!!) we can't wait to be with family and friends. it's been awhile- and a summer home is well overdo.
10. lately, i can't seem to turn down starbucks' oatmeal, a good read and urge to watch gossip girl.

happy monday.
these ten things seem to sum up my life at the moment.
now, it's your turn:
fill me in on a little fact from your life in your comment below.
cheers to the little things that keep life in forward motion. 

emotions.

{source unknown, sorry!}

emotions:

life has been full of emotions lately; 

each one seeming to be so exaggerated.

i'm not a dramatic person, nor do i want to be one.

but, my emotions have secretly warped me 

into this dramatic person all of a sudden.

a different dramatic: dramatic with myself, not with others. 

some mornings i cry on my couch as i think about certain struggles.

however, five minutes later i find myself crying tears of happiness

as i realize just how beautiful my life really is.

lately, i seem to get easily annoyed by lovebird's daily teasing,

but in the next minute- i'm begging for those flirtatious 

teases, because they make me so giddy.

confusion and a tad bit of fear, seem to have made a home in my head.

however, at the exact same time, my gut assures me that

 i've never been more certain.

some times, the normal tasks in life seem like chores, 

because i feel unmotivated.

but, other times i am bursting with purpose and determination

 to succeed in the simple tasks of life, because there is great joy in doing so.

some days i call my mother to vent for hours,

other days i want nothing more, than to remain silent. 

lately, the future and the unknown have been beyond intriguing and exciting.

i'm happy and hopeful to see the coming months unwind.

although, that unknown factor leaves me quite anxious, 

as i am reminded that uncertainty can leave me feeling scared. 

the only emotion that remains constant and 

is always exaggerated is love. 

that's when i remember that no matter the emotional day i experience,

whether for the good or for the bad,

i have someone to love and that someone loves me back.

this fact alone has saved me from all those unwanted emotions.

my urge to fight this exaggeration in my emotions has suddenly dwindled.

why? because letting them run wild in my head has been eye opening for my heart. 

i've come to see so many things and made big decisions.

i've realized emotions are very real.

they are telling, unavoidable and informational.

they make an appearance without you asking them to,

and that's how you know they come from the heart.

call me dramatic if you please-

but, dramatic or not, i'm embracing this exaggeration in emotions,

because they surely are giving me a ride on life's biggest roller coaster. 

and that ride is quite a thrill. 

life is quite a thrill. 

little snapshots

little snapshots of life lately:

-we seem to wind up in san francisco just about every weekend lately.

-a good friend, delicious desserts and lifetime memories.

-lovebird's favorite thing on the planet: bubble tea.

{he's even willing to drive and hour just to get one. pathetic, i know.}

-daffodils are just as common of a purchase as bread and milk lately. 

-don't let the trendiness of macaroons deter you; they are delicious. 

-did i mention we practically live in san francisco? 

one of these weekends, we'll stay put.

-my handsome lunch date. boy, he's a keeper.

-long walks have become a daily ritual for mowgli and i. 

it's our bonding time, i suppose. 

thank goodness for the little moments in life.

but, even more so for the camera that captures a memory forever.

come fine me on instagram, so i can find you in return!

username: eleasejane

5 senses

{slightly creepy- sorry! source: unknown}

life according to my senses lately:

taste: easter candy. that was obvious, right?

i mean hello, now is the best time of year for my sweet tooth problem.

this year's favorite/addiction: these. 

why? the eggs are always the perfect ratio of peanut butter and chocolate.

{don't wait- run out and buy them on clearance asap.}

touch: a week off of a dance, screamed pedicure to me. 

removing all those callouss and blisters have left my feet so sensitive. 

i'm amazed at what my feet can actually feel all of a sudden. 

hear: the birds chirping is music to my ears.

a sure sign that spring is here. 

mornings are my favorite time of the day for this reason.

smell:the array of smells in asian markets. 

we've been to our fair share of them lately- 

mainly due to lovebird's addiction to bubble teas.

the smells are so powerful- some delightful and some disgusting not so pleasant.

{i blame the gross smells on the fish- i'm not a big fan of fishy smells; they make me queasy.}

always an awesome adventure, regardless. 

see:i've been able to "see" who my true friends are lately.

this has caused joy and heartache all at the same time. 

friendships are a very eye opening thing, i tell you.  

you're turn.

what better way for me to catch up on all of your blogs,

than for you to tell me what your senses have been up to lately.

happy hump day. 

greetings in april.

this isn't an april fools joke...
i really am blogging.
shocker, i know.

{source to this lovely water color that i'm obsessed with.}

goodbye march. hello april.

goodbye cadbury eggs. hello self control.

goodbye 2 inch roots. hello red hair.

goodbye unknown plans. hello summer plans.

goodbye to the last remains of winter. hello to a beautiful spring.

goodbye busy schedule. hello spring break.

goodbye 26. hello lovebird's 27th birthday.
goodbye a whole year of ballet. hello to the last month left in the season.
goodbye to being MIA from the blog. hello to i'm really going to try.
goodbye to the classic red. hello to this new favorite lip color of mine.
goodbye to the unknown. hello to a really big decision.
goodbye to this awesome book. hello to this new read.
{looking for a good, fast read? plus a thriller too? i highly recommend the first book listed.}
goodbye to shamrocks and pots of gold. hello to birthdays and april fools.
goodbye days by the fire. hello days by the pool.
goodbye tights and closed toe shoes. hello bare legs and sandals.
goodbye winter breeze. hello thunderstorms.
goodbye ugg boots. hello rain boots.
goodbye in struggling to fall asleep. hello to this heavenly helper.
goodbye to feeling settled. hello to the desperate urge of moving.
goodbye to the ordinary and plain. hello to all things patterned and unique.
goodbye to long hair. hello to i'm feeling brave again.
goodbye to the bad habit of going to bed late. hello to i need to fix that asap.
goodbye to blasting the heater. hello to cracked opened windows at night.
goodbye to the birds who migrated. hello to the birds that chirp good morning.
goodbye to empty vases. hello to my favorite flowers: tulips.
goodbye to never ending scenarios. hello to having faith.
goodbye to sugar cravings. hello to easter candy on clearance.
goodbye for now. hello again very soon.
goodbye march. hello april. 


life has been on the tad bit crazy side of things lately.
but, i am here now.
so, goodbye to neglecting my blog and
 hello to jumping back into the swing of things.
happy spring and happy april, of course.
please leave your link leading me to 
your goodbye-hello list below!
xoxo

out with the cold, in with the heat.

this quote perfectly sums up the days around here right now.

spring is trying take the place of winter, who is lingering as long as he can.

it is simply gorgeous outside.

days at the park, long walks for frozen yogurt, short sleeves...

these things have already begun-
thanks to the sun who is shining for all it's worth.

not to mention, a tiny sunburn who has already appeared on my too-pale skin.

when the weather is good, life is good.

how can it not be, when you wake up to a promising day of sunshine?
the gloom of winter is saying goodbye,
i couldn't be more excited for spring's grand entrance and big hello.
happy spring.
oh, and happy monday too. 

hot pink.

currently, my favorite trend:

hot pink lips

it's been my go to look for the last little while- why?

because i love, love, love the pop of color for spring. 

but, also because it's so easy to throw a coat of mascara on

and spruce up your entire look by just adding a bold lip.

my favorite products?

1. MAC's- Girl About Town

2. NARS- Schiap

{if you can't find that product- try this instead!}

3. Urban Decay- Crush

i'm embarrassed to admit, i own these all.

i couldn't tell you which one is my favorite of the three.

i wear them each equally and love them all the same.

you truly can't go wrong with any of them!

i don't mind splurging when it comes to lip color-

because i wear it daily and love it. 

however, if you are saving your pennies right now

or if you aren't sure you are ready to wear such a bold lip-

try this one.

lastly, i just found this tutorial yesterday, and am eager to give it a go-

a hot pink matte lip? sounds ideal to me. 

the options are endless, obviously.

are you sharing this current obsession with me?

if so, what is your favorite pink at the moment?

i'd love to hear- so, leave a comment below.

or leave a link leading me to a picture of you rocking the color on your blog.

happy tuesday!

xoxo

coming out of hiding.

{milano photography}

10 things to explain my absence:

1. this perfromance took just about every second of every day, there for awhile.
2. a lovely girls trip to san francisco. rain or shine- we know how to shop, eat and have a good laugh.
3. midge's visit that was long, but still not long enough. mother's are the best visitors, especially when she's your best friend, too.
4. indulged in the time to sleep- or rather caught up on the lack of sleep from the last busy month.
5. lovebird's spring break seemed to have distracted me with kisses, a gossip girl marathon, an adventure or two, a temple trip and an unusual amount of heart to heart talks.
6. truthfully, i needed a slight break from technology. i did the whole "unplug" thing for a little while. it was beyond refreshing. instead, i've been on a big reading kick.
7.  san francisco, again. and again. we have literally been up there every weekend for the last two months. {now, i'm trying to convince lovebird to move up there. help me please!}
8. mowgli is quite possibly been my biggest distraction. his need for attention has grown rapidly. but, i don't mind; days at the dog park, walks around the block and never ending games of fetch- i love them just as much as he does.
9. teaching and then more teaching. between teaching piano and pilates, my days seem packed. however, i wouldn't want to be doing anything else. i love it.
10. my mind has been somewhere else lately, trying to make sense of the future and the unknown. while it's been slightly exhausting and stressful, it leaves me eager and excited to see what's next.

i'm so sorry to have been gone for what-feels-like forever.
life seems to happen so fast, and it takes us with it sometimes.
i'm back and here to stay.
at least for awhile.

tell me what i've missed. catch me up, pretty please. 

a day of love.

happy valentine's day. 

i love him because:

1. he is my best friend. 

there's no one i'd rather share life's adventures with, than him. 

2. he is completely selfless, loyal and honest.

3. he's patient above measure.  

4. jealousy doesn't exist in his world; he's confident in who he is.

5. he's loves with the upmost sincerity.

6. he tells me i am beautiful. often. 

7. his testimony is solid, important to him and a part of his every day life.

8. he laughs often whether with me or at me.

his laugh is contagious and always lifts my spirits. 

9. he loves gelato, speaks another language, wears socks to bed,

tends to spoil me rotten, is a hard working student, lover of the stock market,

wears bowties, could live off vegetables, sings in the shower {heart melter, i tell you},

is a proud dog parent, drinks tea daily and is my number one fan at the ballet.

10. he is a dreamer, a go-getter and has high expectations.

he wants the most out of life, marriage, love and the future.

what more can i ask for?

i am totally smitten, completely in love and extremely lucky.

i am hoping you all have a lovely valentine's day.

hugs, kisses, roses, romantic dinner dates, cuddles, hearts, dessert...

i hope it's full of all those things and more. 

today is a day for love-

so, share your heart with someone-

but, also let yourself surrender to being loved by someone.

they are both equally important. 

as a side note, 

here are a few things i am totally loving today:

this love story- it will melt your heart.  

the things i wrote in last year's valentine's post. 

this andy warhol piece of art. 

need a yummy sugar cookie recipe? click here.

wanting this comfy top; love the big heart. 

xoxo

theater week.

{milano photography}

theater week is here in full swing. 

this week, is what we ballerinas, like to call "theater week".

it's basically the week we move out of our own homes, 

and into our dressing rooms at the theater.

this means that i'll be spending more time at the theater than at home.

which also means, i'll spend more time in my pointe shoes than time in lovebird's arms.

it means late nights, sore feet, hair tight in a bun, stage makeup,

long rehearsals, costumes, caffeine, epsom salt baths, hairspray and color days.

as long and hard as the week may seem to go,

it's always all worth it, the second the curtain flies up on opening night.

the thrill, the excitement, the nerves and the joy-

completely erases the pain, aches and tiredness from an exhausting week.

being a performer is magical and it's often times indescribable.

a performance is when my passion for this art is amplified and showcased.

it's almost surreal.

it's always hard work- even in the moment you are dancing your heart out.

but, it's that moment when you succeed the challenge of it all on stage,

because after all, it only counts on stage.

and that right there is a hard truth-

as ballerinas we work so hard for so long- preparing for a single moment to shine.

we are given one chance to make it count.

not to mention, that one time is on stage, under pressure and in front of an audience;

but, that's the thrill of it all. 

this ballet world, is a crazy world we live in.

i love it and wouldn't trade it for anything.

this week will be a busy one- one that will leave me away from my computer.

so, please know that my lack of posting is a result in me not being "home" for the week.

plus- i have special guest coming into town for the show-

and of course they will get every ounce of my attention.

i'll do my best to post- but can't make any promises. ;)

happy tuesday

cheers to the long, but exciting week, ahead of us all.

xoxo

birthday boy.

h a p p y  b i r t h d a y 

dear crewser:

 i can't believe you are 20. 

you are growing up way to fast, which is perfectly fine for you.

but, for me, it makes me feel old. 

{so please, stop it. or simply slow down.}

you are in another country, which makes it impossible 

for us to celebrate your big day together.

however, let's pretend you lived next door. 

this is how it would go:

1. we'd start the day off with a big chai frappuccino- your favorite.

2. we'd walk home laughing about who knows what- 

because we always laugh about anything and everything when we are together.

or rather, you are always making me laugh. 

3. we'd come home to find midge patiently waiting for us,

 with a pile of presents for you-

because we all know that she loves you the most.

{or at least she does on your birthday.}

4. you'd open your gifts which would include, all things utah and sport oriented,

 a new pair of converse and a rubik's cube.

{or at least those would be the gifts last year's crew would get.}

this year, midge is sending you a few new white shirts, new socks, 

books on the gospel, and giving you money to treat yourself to a new suit.

5. dad would be begging to spend every second with you-

whether that meant sitting on the couch or playing a round of golf.

we all know he loves you too much.

you are his favorite child, no matter what the day is.

6. we'd spend the day doing something fun, crazy and adventurous-

because with you, there is never a dole moment in life. 

7. you'd pick your favorite restaurant to go to for dinner. 

if your taste buds haven't matured too, i'm guessing you'd pick

pizza limone, crown burger or cafe rio.

the brothers would of course make fun of your selection 

in what they'd consider a 'crapy' restaurant.

8. we'd race home for a delicious dessert; probably a big slice of chocolate cake.

not forgetting a big scoop of ice cream.

9. the day would be over just like that;

you'd be 20 and i'd be wishing we could stay this young forever.

10. we'd all go to bed thankful that you are 

the caboose and 'accident' of the family.

because, let's face it crew, you are everyone's favorite. 

then, you know me- i'd sneak into your room and lay on your bed and

"accidentally" fall asleep while we lay there talking about life. 

i'm so glad we are best friends.

even when you are thousands of miles away.

your birthday marks 20 years- 

and i'm hoping it is the happiest birthday you'll have.

and how can i forget that your birthday also means one more thing...

it means your one year mark 

is just around the corner.

i'm beyond excited for that day,

because that day will mark the beginning of my countdown 

to when i get to see you next. 

then, we won't have to do any pretending.

we will celebrate your two birthdays, the two christmas' and all the holidays 

in between that you missed-  the minute you get home.

you may even get a celebration dance from yours truly, 

the second you step off that escalator in the airport. 

actually, i'm guaranteeing a dance.

i'll be that excited. 

until then crew, happy birthday.

i miss and love you dearly. 

every day is valentine's.

i might argue that every day is  

 {nearly} valentine's day around here.

i am not the biggest fan of valentine's day-

i never have been. 

{i think i get it from my mother. could it possibly be a genetic dislike?} 

sure, i'm all into the mushy-gushy love thing.

a romantic candle lit dinner for two,

a dosen roses {as long as they aren't red.} and

you know me- i'd watch a romantic chick flick any given second.

however, i consider myself beyond spoiled 

because lovebird is almost as big as a hopeless romantic as i am.

he's far better at expressing his love in a mushy- gushy way;

in fact, he's so good at it- i often wonder if he writes it down and memorizes

the brilliant combination to his romantic wording
 before he says it to effortlessly to me in the moment.

when it comes to dinner for two?  that's a usual thing for us.
which, could possibly be a perk of living away from home.

we are "alone", as some people might say-

but, i'd say it's the other way around,
because i've never felt more comforted and secure than i do now.

onto the flowers...
he know's the way to my heart is an unexpected bouquet of flowers.

he's mastered the art of the unexpected; 

meaning he's good friends with the local florist. 

surprisingly, lovebird likes a good chick flick.

of course, he prefers the manly shows that are jam packed with tons of action.

{he would kill me if he knew i was revealing his secret weakness.} 

where most women have to pull teeth to get their lover to watch 

scenes of kissing, flirting and a chain of dramatic events-

lovebird willing plops down on the couch beside me and presses play.

in my books, that's what a real man is. 

since, it feels like valentine's day around here almost every day,

{just minus the title of the holiday on the correct day of the year}

i really don't have reason to anticipate the actually holiday.

in fact, this year- i will be in the theater at a dress rehearsal until 11:00 at night.

now, we are talking romantic, right? ;)

over the years, this holiday has evolved into something else.

the day itself serves as a day of remembrance for me.

her spirit lives on in my heart.

the same heart i now share with lovebird.

thank goodness the actual day is meant for an exaggeration for love-

because, a big heart full of love is the one thing i do enjoy about this holiday.

that, and also the giggle i get every time i think of her
dancing around in heaven, laughing a good laugh, 

over the fact that i ended up with her all time crush.

so, cheers to lovebird spoiling me 365 days of the year,

valentine's day being a reason to remember and love harder

and to a best friend who will always mean the world to me,

no matter how far away heaven may seem. 

xoxo